Dear chickens, I know our tomatoes are delicious. Or rather, I would know, if you didn't keep hen-pecking them before they are fully ripe.

Gardeners should never count their eggs before they hatch with regards to tomatoes, and I did initially believe the dogs or squirrels were stealing the fruit. I was walking on eggshells waiting to witness something eating the 'maters and suddenly there you were!

I fenced in the tomato plants, but you cocky girls nibbled right through my barrier. I'm not sure who is the bird brained one now.

I have no choice but to assert myself at the top of the pecking order again. This poppy cock has to stop. You are heretofore banished to the back of the yard for free ranging. A fence that will last until you are old biddies will be installed soon.

The chicken scratch is on the wall: Leave the garden alone or you'll be cooped up forever. I rule the roost now!

Mad as a wet hen,

Rachel

PS. I make a mean poultry stew with tomatoes. Don't play chicken with me.