Seven

Dear Lil,baby lil You are seven years old today!

When you transformed us from a couple to a 'little family', we had no idea what that would mean. We know now that the length of your labor and delivery (36 hours!) is nothing in comparison to the abundance we feel with you in our lives.

Your curiousity gives us the excuse to explore the world through new eyes. Your energy makes us wrestle, run, hike, and tickle. Your questions cause us to search for answers in ourselves.

We love to watch you grow even though we frequently tell you to "stop growing". You answer "that's scarcasm!", revealing your maturing sense of humor.

lil and her dog hawiseThis year you taught yourself to read and opened your world to Garfield, chapter books, and street signs. We experience no greater pleasure than turning out your light after you fall asleep with a book in hand.

Life isn't always easy in a household with three first-borns. We all have big ideas and seek perfection. We are learning to listen to each other and make mistakes.

You are patient with all of the adults in your life - your aunts, uncles, grandparents, and great grandparents. When we bore you with our "talk, talk, talk" you amuse yourself with dog friends Hawise, Devie, Molly, and Ani. You are loved by your big family and many pets.

We look forward to moving into your third home, travelling, and helping you find the kitten of your dreams in the coming year. We know you will surprise us with your own plans too.

Happy Birthday Lil!

Love,

Mama and Papa

It's OK To Be Renegade

jar without a lidDo you ever feel like the only jar without a lid? I do. When my kid climbs up the slide, I see the looks from other parents who wouldn't dare let their kid break the 'rules'. I confuse adults when I redirect them to ask my child questions and then listen to her answers because most adults act like kids can't think or speak for themselves. And the opinions about our choice to raise an unschooled, only child? I attract comments like fleece attracts dog hair, even from strangers!

The School For Young Children (SYC), Lil's former preschool where Alex also attended as a child, is one place where I don't feel like the odd duck. SYC teachers agree that children have valid feelings and their words matter. They take time, as we do, to understand and meet kids' needs.

The result of such a system of thought is that kids at SYC of both genders wear tutus, use tools, and go wild with art supplies. They are allowed to play in any way that doesn't hurt people or property.

Children experience conflict amongst each other and learn through resolving disagreements. When SYC kids share or apologize, it is out of genuine expression, not obligation. Parents are encouraged along the way to express their own feelings and grow themselves.

It's OK NOT To Share...

SYC alum Heather Shumaker drew on her experience, and those of SYC teachers who include her mother, to write It's OK NOT To Share...and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids. This handbook for parents include the child development science behind why it's best to let kids experience conflict and empowerment. Heather's writing won't put you to sleep, though - each chapter is full of immediately useful phrases and situational solutions.

None of the ideas in It's OK NOT to Share are new to me. Our parents raised us with many of these ideals and the rules (though I bristle against the very concept of renegade rules) come naturally to us. The practices Heather outlines are exactly how we have been parenting for almost seven years now. Can you believe Lil will be seven at the end of the month? I can't handle how fast time flies!

What the book gave me was a sense of peace about our renegade parenting. We might feel lonely sometimes, and receive odd looks and comments, but bringing up our daughter as we do is justified. We hope that by empowering her to speak up for herself, to resolve conflicts, and feel her emotions, she will grow up to be competent and compassionate as Heather Shumaker suggests.

I look forward to seeing Heather next week at her reading and book signing at SYC next Wednesday, September 19 at 7 pm. I would love to see you there!

Affording Homeschool

Next to legal requirements, one of the biggest barriers to homeschooling is financial. affording homeschool

Homeschooling is cheaper than schooling in that we don't have to pay for registration fees, uniforms, teacher gifts, and extra curricular costs but we do have to purchase our own materials and pay for homeschool classes. The biggest financial drawback to affording homeschool is that most families can't manage dual incomes and homeschooling.

How can a family afford to keep one adult out of the nine to five? And how can they still pay for classes, materials, and travel?

When I left my salaried job, it was to be a temporary stay-at-home-mom to Lil until she started school. The decision to homeschool made us adjust to the idea that I might never bring in a full-time paycheck again. Instead we rely on Alex's decent but not excessive earnings. We manage to make a single income work two ways: smart spending and secondary income.

Smart Spending

We are not the most budget oriented people, but we do try to make well considered purchases.  Here's how our spending breaks down:

Invest in quality

  • shoes - one or two pairs per person
  • art supplies - in lieu of art classes
  • kitchen tools - in lieu of relying on processed food
  • clothes - we invest in wool socks and outerwear for comfort and durability
  • technoloy/gadgets - we research and spend wisely on computers, smart phones, and tablets. When we upgrade, we resell the old version.
  • food - we spend a lot of money on food and liquor because cooking and dining are our biggest

Beg/Borrow/Barter

  • library books - we visit weekly
  • thrift store or hand-me-down clothes for Lil
  • nature - our playground, entertainment, and toy
  • furniture - most of our furniture is handed down from family
  • childcare - bartered with friends
  • goods and produce - I often trade my writing and marketing services for local goods and produce my family needs

DIY

Discounts

  • educator - many stores and organizations offer teacher discounts available to homeschoolers. Gift Card Granny has a lengthy list of national teacher discounts.
  • single person memberships - whenever possible, we buy a single person plus a guest membership at museums, allowing Lil to attend with one of us
  • sales - we don't coupon much but do stock up during school supply sales and end of season garden clearances
  • wholesale co-ops - I manage co-operative groups to buy spices, bath and body supplies, and flour at wholesale prices

Alt Society (i.e. saving habits against the norm)

  • single car family
  • combined trips to save gas
  • telework - Alex works from home as much as possible to save on commuting costs
  • very few activities for Lil - she's not interested and we're not inclined to push her into money-intensive classes
  • infrequent date nights - Alex and I go out to dinner or the movies once a month at best
  • resist the latest and greatest - many of our belongings are timeless (i.e. old) not trendy. We wear items out until they are truly not usable again.

Secondary Income

My cooking class, writing, and social media management jobs earn a bit of extra money but only roughly 10% of our family income. I could accept more clients and schedule more classes but I can only spend so much time working when I also want to give attention to Lil and her education. My secondary income is limited by this paradox.

When Alex travels for work, he is paid a per diem for food and incidentals that usually surpasses what he actually spends. We funnel this and any other bonus money into our travel savings account.

Speaking of travel, we take advantage of a airline miles credit card for major purchases. These miles combined with Alex's frequent flyer miles give us the option of free flights. Similarly, we often use free hotel stays through Alex's loyalty points.

We have been fortunate to receive a few inheritances over the years that we save as our emergency fund. Knowing this sum is available should we ever need it helps us stay comfortable with our single income situation.

Every family's financial situation is unique. I share how we make homeschooling affordable simply to note one way to do it. Others work split shifts or make do with less. I believe there are real financial trade-offs to home education but the benefits are equally great.

If you homeschool, how do you manage the finances?

How to Harvest Hickory Nuts

Post by Lil, age six  hickory tree

This is how you harvest hickory nuts. You have to a hickory nut tree. The bark is jaggedy and there are many lobed leaves on each branch.

ripe hickory nut

This is how you know the nuts are ripe: it has to be brown and also green. When it's hickory nut season you let them fall down and pick them up off the ground.

Lil using bench vice

You have to have a vice to crack them. It's hard to crack the shell open. Squirrels crack the shells open with their teeth.

After the squirrels drop the nuts, they can hit the roof of the garage or the ground. It gets the ground kind of messy so watch out for that.

inside of hickory nut

The meat is ripe when it is light brown. It tastes kind of like pecans. I usually eat them raw.

hickory nut meat

I like doing hickory nuts because the inside is yummy.

Note from Rachel: Encouraging your child to collect, crack, and consume hickory nuts is a most glorious waste of time learning activity.

Have you ever eaten hickory nuts? Do you like Lil writing on Hounds in the Kitchen? She wants to know!

Silver Spoon Ring {Wordless Wednesday}

davis family silver spooncut spoon from handle pound ring into shapesolder into band

yank ring off handfamily silver spoon ringspoon ring

 

The spoon: sterling silver teaspoon that belonged to Alex's grandmother The D: for Davis, her maiden name, my great grandparent's last name, my late grandfather's first name The jeweler: my uncle Mike Tayse The spoon ring: Created Sunday, August 5 in Mike's one-man backyard studio in Painesville Ohio

Aside: Mike is an amazing Ohio certified K-12 art and reading teacher who needs a job. If you know of a school looking for a creative, qualified teacher, please send them to Mike Tayse's resume site.